Dedicated in Loving Memory of Cartier

F stood for more than just friend, didn’t it, buddy?

When I first met Cartier at ten years old, the very first thing I noticed was the distinct “F” marking on his forehead. I even chronicled that moment in my memoir — how excited I was, how I rubbed the marking like it was a good-luck charm.

In my heart I settled on one answer:

“I think F means friend.”

And I was right.

But a few nights after Cartier passed, God woke me at 4 a.m. with a revelation:

Yes — F stood for friend… but it also stood for so much more.

F stood for family.

Because Cartier was my family when mine fell apart.

F stood for flyaway.

Because together we were an unstoppable show-jumping team. From the saddle, he helped me fly away from hardship, pain, and fear. Flyaway was also the title of the first book I wrote at seventeen — the very beginning of my writing career.

F stood for fight.

Because we had to fight to keep him safe from evil, greed, and corruption— and more often than not, we were on our own. My mom and I lost so many battles but in the end we won the war.

F stood for fire.

Because Cartier survived a massive wildfire that burned down his barn — a fire that ironically saved his life by releasing him and his stable mates from being starved to death.

F stood for favor.

Because God’s favor rested over this animal. He sustained Cartier through what most would not survive, and God helped bring us the right people to heal.

F stood for freedom.

For a decade we searched for each other — fighting not just to reunite, but to reclaim the freedom of our friendship.

F stood for faith.

Because without God saving my life shortly after losing Cartier in 2012, I would not be here today. Without faith, I would have accepted defeat in a dark world. Without prayer, I would have stopped searching for him long ago. 

F was never just for friend. It was a foreshadowing — a glimpse into what we would overcome. A promise of everything Cartier would carry me through. ​

And still — he always was, and forever will be, my greatest friend.​

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Enjoy this photo gallery of my and Cartier's journey together from start to finish!